The gift that keeps on giving: A Child!

Halleluiah! Nope, not the baby Jesus. The child I am talking about is a different kind of gift: she is a 4-foot tall stylish "doll" (a term I try not to use around her) that came in the form of a White Elephant present. She was opened by someone else at my work Christmas party and as her abnormally skinny frame was revealed, the connection between her and I was clear. While others said, "creepy", I could only think"opporunity...". When else in my life would I own such a thing? When it came time for my turn, I passed up the snuggies, didn't even blink at the Christmas paraphenalia, and no thought was given to the homemade enchiladas. Olivia (she camed named) was all mine. My boss was appalled that I would choose to have her at my will and said something cutting and insensitive like, "did we screen this girl when we hired her?" I realize chosing a 4 foot tall doll at will is not the best way to convince my boss he has hired someone he can trust, but Olivia and I had big plans ahead of us.

Her first night home was basically asking the roommates to welcome her warmly, and more than that, their boyfriends to not be too ridiculous (this lasted all of 10 minutes). I will tell the rest of Olivias adventures in the pictures that were taken during her first week in her new home.

This is Olivia after being unsupervised for 10 minutes. Uncle Preston and Uncle Charley thought this was hilarious but they quickly began to prove my point that the possibilities were endless with this little bundle of love.

Olivia became my partner in crime in pranking people. This picture shows Olivia's new fans putting her on stilts so that we could lift her up to the balcony above where some of our guy friends live and were watching t.v. This stunt coupled with the time I left her outside of their door, knocked, and ran made Olivia their worst enemy. I just couldn't understand why...

But in all honesty there are about 4 appartments in my complex that fell for this prank and just made my darn day.

The variations in reaction, mostly profanity and disturbed screams, are the definition of priceless. She just wanted to make friends. People need to chill...poor Livie.

A tradition at our apartment became posing Olivia to torment or humor the other roommates when they woke up or came home. I would say this was more enjoyed by the male counterparts of my beloved roommates, some nicer than others. This is her potty training and another of her doing arts and crafts. I have sparred my readers from the posting the picture of her hanging from a noose with a bottle of wine, a bible, and a note that read, "I'm sorry Hayley" in 6 year old girl writing. That didn't make me laugh. The most recent place I found her came while I was packing for my trip to mammoth. I had all my clothes laid out the night before for packing. When I woke up, her stylin' outfit was neatly folded next to my suitcase all ready to be packed. My first thought was, "well there is a naked 4 foot doll somewhere." My roommates boyfriend, said to me, "think, where would a naked child be..." The shower! She was just cleaning off!

I realize the risk I run in posting this. I am fully aware of the reprocussions. Some of you will be happy to know, and if you are like me, sad to know, that she has been re-gifted. After the noose incident, I had to protect her. She is onto a better home where she will be safe.....